US politics summed up in 30 seconds

Democrats: The Russians hacked our elections.

Republicans: You mean they exposed your corruption.

Democrats: We’re not corrupt. There’s nothing in the hacks that’s illegal.

Republicans: So how did the hacks change the election then?

Democrats: Because Hillary would have won if the people were kept in the dark.

Republicans: That doesn’t make any sense.

Green Party: That’s why we need a recount. The Russians hacked our election.

Republicans: So you mean the Russians hacked our voting machines and changed the outcome?

Democrats: Yes

US Intelligence: No they didn’t

Democrats: Ok so it was the email hacks that changed the election and it was the Russians who did it.

Wikileaks: No it wasn’t.

Democrats: The intelligence community says they have proof.

US Intelligence: No we don’t.

Democrats: You said you did.

US Intelligence: No we said we were confident based on past Russian behavior. There is no actual proof that the Russian government ordered any hacks.

Democrats: Well we’re going to blame them anyway and before we leave the White House we’re going to place sanctions on the Russians. This way Trump is forced to continue our policy on Russia because if he lifts the sanctions it will make him look like he’s colluding with them. This will poison the well on Trumps foreign policy on a wide range of issues from Syria to European natural gas negotiations. Because f*ck America. F*ck the Middle East. F(ck Europe. F*ck Russia. It’s all about the Democratic Party. Call CNN and let them know how to spin this.